Springy

Mar. 13th, 2017 08:24 pm
rejectomorph: (caillebotte_the orangerie)
[personal profile] rejectomorph
Nightfall sneaked up on me, as it usually does the first few evenings of Daylight Saving time. I kept thinking it was around seven o'clock, and here it is past eight already. I need to get the wheelie bins out for tomorrow's trash pickup. Then I have to think of what to have for dinner. There's too much stuff to choose from, and that makes deciding more difficult.

The one thing that's out of the question tonight is the brisket of corned beef, because it's too late to start cooking that. It will keep, though. I think the expiration date is something like May 30. It is something I'd only buy once a year, even if it was more often available in the stores. It just doesn't seem like March to me if there isn't a boiled dinner.

It's been so nice having the windows open all day again, though the usual rude awakening has arrived. All winter I think about how nice spring will be, and then spring shows up and I sit on the back porch with a glass of iced tea, and the bees buzz around my head and I swat at them and then give up and go back indoors. Meanwhile, I get bouts of sneezing from the sudden arrival of the pollen. Ah, well, I had all that pleasure thinking about spring. It's unreasonable of me to expect the reality to equal the fantasy.

The sneezing will be temporary, though, as tomorrow is the last warm day, and then after several days of clouds more rain could arrive early next week. It probably won't interfere with my shopping trip, but even if it does it will be worth it to get the yard watered for free. It is amazing how rapidly the ground has dried during this warm spell, and the dry air has totally desiccated my nose— except when I sneeze, of course.

I'd better go fix dinner before I'm tempted to eat a candy bar.

I Invited My Friends to Your House

Date: 2017-03-14 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gutbloom.livejournal.com
I linked to this post from my Medium account. I hope the whole world shows up and sees your greatness. I'm sure you don't want that, but I'm hoping that when things go badly at Medium, everyone will follow me back here. You're the draw.

https://medium.com/the-athenaeum/i-want-to-share-something-with-you-9c9a2931d691#.w9wcy8gc8

Re: I Invited My Friends to Your House

Date: 2017-03-15 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flying-blind.livejournal.com
Does being linked from Medium attract ghosts? Because judging from the name it sounds like it would. Not that it should matter to anyone at LiveJournal, since this place is full of ghosts already. But if you do come back here it might be a good idea to wear a shroud, just so you'll blend in.


Wait, you're not a ghost already yourself, are you? I just thought of that.

Re: I Invited My Friends to Your House

Date: 2017-03-15 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gutbloom.livejournal.com
I am the real, live, romping-stomping Gutbloom in all of my incarnate glory. I am no ghost. I still walk the ruins of LiveJournal, though, I admit, not as frequently as I once did, or should do now.

The fact that I am the only one who commented betrays the fact that my plan is a total failure.

None of the Mediums at Medium can see the future. That's why they don't have a business plan. I don't think they even try to read the signs of the times. They prefer to build things, talk about "disruption", and then use the VC money to buy California rolls and expensive coffee.

I want to remind you that you promised to text me when the second coming of Brad Fitzpatrick happens. The book I have says, "Lo, he will come astride a goat and on the clouds of the cloud, with bandwidth, server space, and useful features in his arms. Mena will carry his veil, and all those that did not believe will be cast out into the Facebook, but the righteous, those that abide, will be given permanent accounts."

I don't know what that means for you, since you already have a permanent account. All the more reason you should call me.

Re: I Invited My Friends to Your House

Date: 2017-03-16 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flying-blind.livejournal.com
I'm glad to hear that you are not a ghost. I know that sometimes when I recover from some horrendous infection I'll get the feeling that the pain has ended only because I have died. Then I look around and find that I am in the same world as always and realize that Hell couldn't be this bad, and then something nice happens and I surmise that Heaven couldn't be this good, and I come to the conclusion that either I am still alive, or the Catholics are right and there is a Purgatory. But not being Catholic, and thus being skeptical about Purgatory, I conclude that I am most likely still alive (if I am in fact in Purgatory, my apologies to the Holy Trinity, the Virgin Mary, and the Pope. Do you suppose that will get me an upgrade to first class?)

Anyway, I'm glad you are recovering from your ordeal. It is not surprising that, in such circumstances, you would seek out the great collection of the commonplace that is Live Journal. There is something comforting and reassuring about the everyday lives of ordinary people one finds on display here. Reading it is sort of like being a stationary flaneur, and I have always aspired to flaneurie.

However, I do miss the leavening that LJ once had of more imaginative sorts, such as [livejournal.com profile] hyperina, the Not Real Lemur, as well as the various trolls who once enlivened our discourse (I especially miss the purged [livejournal.com profile] cereal_adder, the Breakfast Snake. Such brilliance, now lost to the world!) Thank goodness we still have cats, though, thanks mostly to a single Russian who is the sole regular poster at [livejournal.com profile] art_cats.

And of course I also miss your reports of the doings at the Factory. In fact it has crossed my mind several times that I should start an LJ feed of your Medium account, but I keep forgetting. I suspect that digital flaneurie is harmful to the short term memory.

But I am not surprised that no other comments have been left here. There is a rumor on the Internets (or I am about to start one) that unwary webloggers who visit Live Journal are often shunted into some sort of digital gulag and are never heard from again. It puts a lot of people off.

While I'll be glad to notify you of the Return of Brad, I won't be able to do it by text message. I have yet to enter the age of the smart phone— not because I fear that the CIA will use it to spy on me, and agents laugh at my ass if I put it in my back pocket, but because the reception is so bad in this backwater there would be no point in it. I doubt you'll need my notification in any case, because, as foretold, the Return of Brad will be accompanied by the sudden appearance of goats everywhere, all of them devouring printouts of digital photos of Mark Zuckerberg, and crapping them out as short, blue pencils.

Do continue to grow healthier, and beware of Mediums bearing California rolls. Such things might have been the source of your infection. Though sometimes delicious, avocados are in fact the earthly manifestation of the testicles of demons. To mingle them with crab and cucumber is pure hubris!

Re: I Invited My Friends to Your House

Date: 2017-03-23 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gutbloom.livejournal.com
FYI, your reply is the best thing I have read on the Internet in a month, and I have a "Founding Membership" on Medium. I'm sorry that I am responding to your reply in Medium time. Things are slow on Medium. It's like living in the Caribbean but without the beaches, sunshine, fresh fruit, and good coffee.

I'm so not scared of the LiveJournal gulag. In fact, I like this idea of using LJ as my personal redoubt. When things go bad and the Russians take over Medium I will escape to LJ where they will never find me. Why would someone running from the Russians hide from them by running to the place the Russians already own? It would be like Jill Stein running to the Chernobyl zone of Belarus to get away from Trump's America!

As for flaneurs, I'm going to use "Flaneury O'Connor" as my next fantasy baseball manager name. I might change the name of my Medium publication from "The Atheneum" to "Der Flaneur". Then not updating it will be part of the joke!

Anyway, I have to be getting back to Medium, but I think things are going to get busy here soon. I went and saw the play "Kinky Boots" on Broadway. It is a nostalgia show dedicated to the 1980s. Who knew? The 00's can't be far behind, so I imagine people are going to start streaming back here again some time real soon. Until then, if you see any of the former advisors or cabinet members of the Trump administration posting in cyrillic around here, let me know. I think we could make some money selling those names to MSNBC.
Edited Date: 2017-03-23 02:37 am (UTC)

Re: I Invited My Friends to Your House

Date: 2017-03-23 05:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flying-blind.livejournal.com
As exciting as the prospect of people flooding back here in a fit of nostalgia is to me, I must express some skepticism that it will occur. With The Trump's accession to the Presidency, I believe that orthodox nostalgia will fall from favor. Why would anti-Trumpists have fond memories of the time that brought us to this pass? And why would Trumpists be eager to recall the dismal times of W's relentless failures, and the subsequent Presidency of the detested Kenyan Muslim Socialist?

I predict that the next big thing will be pre-nostalgia. Everyone will become nostalgic for their favorite imaginary future. Trumpists will wax pre-nostalgic over their Dear Leader's inevitable manifestation in Washington DC of God's White City on a Hill, while Anti-Trumpists will fondly pre-recall the inevitable destruction of DJ T-Rump (his rap name, in case you didn't know.)

My own favorite pre-nostalgic memory is recalling how Ann Coulter engineered a coup, first having Trump kidnapped by the swarm of flying monkeys that periodically emerges from her vagina, and then devouring his head while mating with him, like the praying mantis she so closely resembles.

And I delight in recalling how, at her moment of triumph, Coulter and all the Trumpists gathered about her were destroyed when Steve Bannon exploded like Mr. Creosote in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, because he just had to eat that one last contemptuous, minty turd dropped on his plate by Milo Yodacopulous.

Ah, the late 2010s! What an exciting time I remember it shall have come to have been!

You make Medium sound very attractive, by the way. I would not miss the beaches, as I hate getting sand in my shorts anyway, nor would I miss the sunshine, my pasty, Europish skin being prone to severe burning. And being a native Californian I have already had sufficient fresh fruit to last me a lifetime, so I wouldn't miss that either.

I would regret the absence of good coffee, of course, but that would be no change from my current state. I've had to switch to decaf, due to real coffee's interference with my already fragile capacity to get sufficient sleep, not to mention my ability to pick up objects without having them fly from my trembling hand. A bit of Medium slowness might be just the tonic I need.

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