Asses were repeatedly hit by the door on their way out

[rejectomorph]

The 109th Congress died yesterday, little more than a month after being taken out back and shot in the head. Its survivors include two reactionary Supreme Court Justices, a middle eastern quagmire, a President still as bone-headed as ever, and a dismal record of scandal and corruption. The recently aborted fetuses of nine appropriations bills required to fund government agencies were found among its belongings. The Congress was pre-deceased by Augusto Pinochet, Jeanne Kirkpatrick and Terri Schiavo. Services will be held by the complicitous media, and interment will be in a pit filled with Santorum.