rejectomorph (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rejectomorph) wrote2023-07-10 08:39 am
rejectomorph) wrote2023-07-10 08:39 am
Reset Forty-Nine, Day Forty-Seven
Whatever is going on with my sleep pattern is about as crazy as it's ever been. Sometime I only manage to stay asleep for three or four hours before I'm wide awake again, and sometimes I only manage to stay awake for two or three hours before I collapse. And sometimes I sleep several hours in a row, or stay awake for aa long as I did when I was normal. Any of this can happen at any hour of the day or night. If you want a predictable life, all I can say is don't let your brain get old. With age, it appears, everything can go ass over teakettle.
My niece was able to fetch my ingrown toenail pain reliever Sunday evening, which will be handy in case it starts hurting again. At the moment it isn't, but it's unpredictable. Like my sleep schedule. For a while I contemplated heading to the drug store with her and buying some more stuff they've got on sale, but in the end I just couldn't conjure the energy for such an enterprise. I sort of miss being able to just go do things on the spur of the moment. Even things that involved shopping.
But anyway. I don't expect anything will ever go back to whatever it was before, and eventually, should I go on living, I do expect I'll forget whatever anything was before so it won't really matter. That hasn't happened yet, so I can still worry about it happening. After it happens I probably won't know. But I'm sure I'll find something else to worry about.
Sometimes I worry that I'll eventually forget my favorite music, but I probably shouldn't. If it happens that I do forget it, then I'll get to have the pleasure of hearing it for the first time all over again. I just need to make a list, so whoever is looking after me can arrange to have it played for me. One thing that will be on it is Donald Fagan's jazzy 1982 cover of The Drifters' 1956 R&B hit (and Dion DiMucci's 1962 rock cover) of Leiber & Stoller's "Ruby Baby."
My niece was able to fetch my ingrown toenail pain reliever Sunday evening, which will be handy in case it starts hurting again. At the moment it isn't, but it's unpredictable. Like my sleep schedule. For a while I contemplated heading to the drug store with her and buying some more stuff they've got on sale, but in the end I just couldn't conjure the energy for such an enterprise. I sort of miss being able to just go do things on the spur of the moment. Even things that involved shopping.
But anyway. I don't expect anything will ever go back to whatever it was before, and eventually, should I go on living, I do expect I'll forget whatever anything was before so it won't really matter. That hasn't happened yet, so I can still worry about it happening. After it happens I probably won't know. But I'm sure I'll find something else to worry about.
Sometimes I worry that I'll eventually forget my favorite music, but I probably shouldn't. If it happens that I do forget it, then I'll get to have the pleasure of hearing it for the first time all over again. I just need to make a list, so whoever is looking after me can arrange to have it played for me. One thing that will be on it is Donald Fagan's jazzy 1982 cover of The Drifters' 1956 R&B hit (and Dion DiMucci's 1962 rock cover) of Leiber & Stoller's "Ruby Baby."