Sadly

[rejectomorph]

The instability of seasonal change has set in. For the moment, we are back to summery heat. A few days might bring autumnal chill. Thus far, we have had no winter cold. It is a time of mixed feelings. I am pleased that the hot season is almost gone, but do not look forward to the winter. Fall is pleasant, but always makes me a bit sad. The receding sun, the shortened days, the passing of a year's green leaves, are all too much loss for me. This year will be worse than usual, I think. There is too much in my life which is unlikely to see another spring. I don't deal well with partings. After seventeen years in this place, I still miss my old home, and the things here which have provided some distraction from that old sadness grow frail, even as the things I have always disliked about this place grow more intense. I cannot return, and will soon lose the desire to remain, and lack any place to go. Thus, the withering leaves and dying flowers are now more difficult to endure, and those of my waking thoughts which are not troubled turn ever more to aimless memory, or to sleep.

Comments

[rejectomorph]

Thanks for the sympathy -- though I know you've been through things at least as bad as what I'm dealing with.

[jaarronn.livejournal.com]

I too am sorry for your sadnesses, J. You have expressed many observations, thoughts and feelings that strike similar chords within. I know that no matter how sincere our attempts may be to ease the burdens of depression in another soul through sharing, they seldom do....nonetheless, I wish you brighter times and vistas.

[rejectomorph]

Thanks. While this strange new forum is no substitute for those real life connections on which we all depend, I do find it comforting to know that, behind these icons, there are people who wish me well.