Bad Scene

My nocturnalism has morphed into genuine insomnia. I continue to have only a bit over half the sleep I have long required, and it is happening at odd times. I just napped for almost two hours, but still feel exhausted. I hate disruption.

I'm going to go out and see the last rays of the setting moon, then try to get back to sleep. I think I've been having strange dreams, but I don't remember them. All I know is that I wake with a sense of uneasiness, as from a nightmare. This is probably the result of unresolved problems.

There was more stuff here, but it was too morose so I deleted it. I'm quite disappointed that Mars failed to crash into the Earth. That must be it.

Bad

For the last ten days, I have been enduring the highest level of sustained anxiety I have ever experienced. I have no idea what to do about it. None of the techniques I usually use are sufficent to deal with it. I feel both trapped and doomed. I am exhausted from lack of sleep, eating is difficult even when I feel hungry, each distraction quickly fails, and every attempt at reason ends in paranoid thinking. I can't sort out my thoughts about the situation enough to even explain it. Anxiety disorders bite, and the evil people who set them off bite even more. I keep wishing for some huge natural disaster, just so there will be something for me to focus my energy on. I wish I had never come to this place. May the Earth heave up and shake it out of existence.