The Cock Crows at Dawn, But Don't Finger Your Rooster

It might be that I'm going through the final stages of denocturnalization. I routinely stayed up until five o'clock in the morning for so many years that when I started falling asleep earlier it was a bit disconcerting. Over the last several months I've gradually converted to a mostly daylight life, but I've still stayed awake until midnight or so, more often than not. As this autumn has progressed, I've found myself getting sleepy almost as soon as the sun goes down— and the sun is going down quite early these days. This evening I found myself yawning at six o'clock.

Suddenly the thought crossed my mind; what if I turn into a farmer? I've adjusted, more or less, to being awake more in the daytime, but could I ever adjust to falling asleep shortly after nightfall and then waking up with the chickens? Will I have to acquire chickens? Will I have to start recording late night television shows so I won't miss them? And if so, what with? All I've got is a couple of obsolete analog VCRs. This could be heinous.

I'm pretty sure Portia isn't going to like it, either. Cats enjoy their nocturnal play, and if I'm sleeping most of the night I have no idea what she'll get up to. I might wake up in the morning to find that she has unrolled every roll of toilet paper in the house. I might find her in my fridge eating my foodz. And I can't put her outside at night because she'll go after the chickens I'll probably have to get once I've turned into a farmer. It's just a bad situation all around.

Plus I won't get to spend as much time in the moonlight. How can I remain lunatic with so little exposure to the moon?