The Wit and Wisdom of Cthulhu

If I lived in Toledo, this is probably what I would do, too. But Toledo is so much more lively, sophisticated, and urbane, and provides so many more opportunities than my northern California backwater, that it's much easier to do such things there. That's my excuse.

I should probably move to Toledo so I can have my funeral at this place, but then I don't know anybody in Toledo, and Toledo is not a place anybody I know is likely to go, so it's likely nobody would go to my funeral.

Also I'd like my ashes to be buried in a pet cemetery, but that's another story.