Bleh.

[rejectomorph]

LiveJournal keeps telling me I have invalid cookies. My cookies are as valid as anyone's!

They have been keeping me very busy around here today. I grab a few minutes here and there, but never a big chunk of time in which to do anything significant.

Anyway. I bore myself under circumstances such as this. I will shut the hell up now.

Comments

[thesparrow.livejournal.com]

Perhaps your cookies are inferior? Maybe they are of the Keebler Elf brand, which, in all scientifc tests and studies, have been proven to taste like "Ass". I suggest you go purchase Chips Ahoy as soon as possible and shove them in any open USB port on your computer.

[forioscribe.livejournal.com]

Chips Ahoy? Bullshit! Surely you jest. The only cookies worth going after are those Pepperidge Farm chocolate chip & macadamia nut things. Take one bite and you gotta eat the whole damned bag, and then head out to WaWa for another one.

[thesparrow.livejournal.com]

I'd smite you where you stand if not for the fact I'm too busy doubled up in laughter at your incredible stupidity. CHIPS AHOY ARE WHERE IT'S AT!

You can take your fruity little Pepridge Farm cookies, and go jump in a lake.

[diapholom.livejournal.com]

there are none of those in madagascar. the old man has lemurian cookies.

[rejectomorph]

If I were to stuff cookies into Sluggo, I would not use good cookies.

Sluggo is evil. He deserves vile cookies.

Incidentally, I've never tasted Ass. (I had Goat once. But never Ass.) Now I know that all I need do to experience the taste of Ass is to eat an elf cookie. Science is wonderful.

[rejectomorph]

Had I not given up cookies when I had to cut my sugar consumption to almost nothing, I would probably go for a classic Chinese almond cookie. (Actually Chinese-American, I think, like chow mein and chop suey.) When I lived in Los Angeles, I used to buy boxes of 50 of them, baked by a local Chinese bakery. Crumbly, aromatic, subtley flavored, with that slightly sweet glaze on them, and that half almond on top, which made a satisfying crunch when bitten. Yes, almond cookie, for sure.

[rejectomorph]

No lakes in Madagascar?

Re:

[forioscribe.livejournal.com]

Well, all right. Now that we're on the subject I have to talk about something not quite a cookie, but pretty close.

I'll never forget my first encounter with DATE BARS, when I was around eight years old. My aunt had just baked a sheet of stuff that looked like lumpy brown sand. She cut it into two-inch squares, gave me one. Crunchy top and bottom, chewey, sweet. And then inside sticky sweetness of dates. Fabulous!

It was like cocaine. I was instantly hooked, and I knew that I would do anything to get more. I would lie, I would steal. I'd betray my entire family, if only I could get more of those delicious treats.

Nowadays I have a fancy for narrow plastic rectangular dishes of dates, imported from Tunis, a relatively short boat ride from here. The old man at the open market in Forio always keeps a half dozen of them on the side for me.

I'm in Paradise!

[rejectomorph]

My grandfather used to give each of his children, who all worked in the family business, a huge box of dates at Christmas. I was always pleased when I saw my father bringing home that box of dates- not because of the dates themselves, but because he always got his Christmas bonus the same day, and I knew I would be getting some extra cash. Perhaps I'd have been more excited about the dates themselves if my mother had known how to make date bars.

As it turned out, I didn't develop a taste for dates until I was older, and we would make trips to the groves of the Imperial Valley, where big, tender Medjools (sp?) were sold from roadside stands. They are especially good when stuffed with walnuts and rolled in finely chopped coconut and a bit of confectioner's sugar.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

they mean like "bedridden cookies."

when was the last time you had cookies get up and be self sufficient?

MmMm... entenmann's cookies.

[diapholom.livejournal.com]

i've had goat too, and dog, and maybe some cat ;) yumminess

[thesparrow.livejournal.com]

And, if you want to know the specific test, here it is


Force feed the cookie to any nearby dog. If he eats it, then, it's good to go. If he throws up the cookie, and then, swears a lifetime oath to strike you down, then, quite likely, you won't want to eat them.