52/45: To Air Is Human
Feb. 26th, 2025 11:57 pmStupidly I fried some stuff for dinner and filled the air with greasy smoke, making it very hard to breathe. I was already feeling crappy most of the day, and now I'm feeling utterly wretched. I've got a window open for chilly but semi-fresh (fumes from the highway a few hundred feet away) night air. I suspect I'll be needing to get oxygen soon. I'll probably keep putting it off though. My motivation, never very powerful, has collapsed.
I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight, with breathing so difficult. Feel like I'm drowning in olive oil. Tension isn't helping. Need to try to relax, but the techniques for that involve deep breathing. I'm a dope. What a hapless idiot I've become. I should get rid of the frying pans and just eat sandwiches and microwaved and boiled crap. And donuts.
Not looking forward to this night. I wonder if I should try drinking myself into a stupor? Probably not. Damn, I hate being old!
I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight, with breathing so difficult. Feel like I'm drowning in olive oil. Tension isn't helping. Need to try to relax, but the techniques for that involve deep breathing. I'm a dope. What a hapless idiot I've become. I should get rid of the frying pans and just eat sandwiches and microwaved and boiled crap. And donuts.
Not looking forward to this night. I wonder if I should try drinking myself into a stupor? Probably not. Damn, I hate being old!