Commentary

[rejectomorph]

If people who write posts designed to elicit many comments are called Comment Whores, then what are those of us who have posted far more comments than we have received? Currently, I'm at 5,876 posted and 2,882 received. Does that make me a Comment John? Since no money changes hands, the metaphor is imperfect (as metaphors commonly are.) Maybe it would be more accurate reversed. Maybe I should be considered a comment slut, just giving it away to everyone. But then, what would the receivers of those comments be? Rakes? Frat boys? Rock stars? Hmmm. Again, unless they are actively seeking those comments, the metaphor doesn't work, and if they are actively seeking those comments, we're back to the original unsatisfactory metaphor. I guess that LJ just isn't analogous to sex.

So why do some people receive many more comments than they post, and others get far fewer? I've decided that, in my case, I receive fewer comments than I make because my posts are so amazing that they leave everyone speechless. And I make more comments than I receive because I'm very, very helpful, and like to share my vast store of information, and not at all any sort of know-it-all busybody. Yeah, that's it. Those of us who leave many comments are Comment Mentors, and the fortunate recipients of our wisdom are our Comment Acolytes! That explanation definitely works for me.

Comments

[leprosy.livejournal.com]

You're comments are so poetic that they are complete without further comment.

Re:

[mrmustard.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed, leprosy has it right. That's it exactly. What more is there to say after one of your posts?

If you want, I'll write "nice" after each entry. That will make me your mentor. Now, as your comment mentor, I'll give you an assignment. It's the same that I give all those under my tutelage: Go get ice.

Re:

[rejectomorph]

Ah, so that's it! I suspected as much. Of course, in my weaker moments I have sometimes thought that the discrepancy might be the result of the fact that I scatter inane one-liners across the fields of LiveJournal like some obsessed and demented virtual Johnny Carson/Appleseed. (I think you might have seen a few of these, from time to time.) But your explanation indeed makes much more sense.

Re:

[rejectomorph]

I thank you for your most generous offer. Indeed, I can think of no more apt mentor in all of LiveJournal, and I assure you that there shall be no more attentive acolyte than myself. When I suffer those moments of doubt, in which I feel that my negative balance of comments situation stems from the fact that other people spend more of their LJ time writing actual posts worthy of comments, while I spend most of my LJ time reading other posts to see if they provide a suitable occasion for one of my smart-assed remarks, I shall remember your encouragement and not despair.

Seldom being one to let reason or common sense stand in the way of flattery -- especially self flattery -- I shall endeavor to remain conscious of the fact that the silence of my readers results from the fact that they are thunderstruck by my perfect prose. Indeed, it is likely that most of the hundreds of thousands of LJ users who have never commented on my posts, and never added me to their friends lists, have been silent and absent merely because, in their awe, they consider themselves unworthy of the honor of addressing me, or of having their names appear on my user into page.

And now I see the true depths of your wisdom and foresight! I do, in fact, now need that ice you asked me to fetch. The unaccountable swelling of my head is quite painful!

Re:

[leprosy.livejournal.com]

Sluggo told me to type that.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

I think that it's interesting that it includes comments that you, yourself have posted in your journal. I figure if comment whores really wanted high numbers, that they'd just spam themselves.

Re:

[rejectomorph]

Self-spamming! Why didn't I think of that? It's almost like masturbation, isn't it? And just as easy! I could have a million comments!

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[scottobear.livejournal.com]

I figure that if I want to get an accurate count on my comments, I have to split mine in half... (since I reply to comments more often than not.)


Then subtract that number form comments posted, to see where else I've actually put stuff in writing.