Changes

[rejectomorph]

The day has finally come when we've had to bundle mom off to a care home. For the last couple of weeks it has been impossible for us to get her out of bed, and not only was she in danger of getting bed sores, but she was becoming increasingly gloomy. In addition, she was frequently unable to remember where she was, and often had to be convinced that she wasn't already in a care home. We came to the conclusion that it was best for everyone if she made the move, and my sister took her there this afternoon.

The place is within walking distance of my sister's house, and is a fairly small and well-managed operation. The only problem might arise from the fact that it's operated by the Seventh Day Adventists, who eschew coffee as well as meat, and the menu might not be entirely to mom's liking. But she hasn't been drinking much of her coffee for the last few weeks anyway, so she might not miss it if she can't get it there. The good news is that she'll be sharing a room with a slightly younger woman who is still fairly alert and willing to engage in conversation, yet isn't chatty. So far they seem to be getting along well, and having congenial company will probably be a good thing for mom.

Despite years of protests that she didn't want to go to a care home, mom seems to have accepted that it has finally happened (without our help she'd most likely have been there eight years ago) and it looks like she'll make a successful adjustment to her new circumstances. While my sister and I were no longer able to manage the strenuous task of getting mom out of bed for exercise of any sort, or even a change of scene, the care home has younger workers who will be able to shift her about, and she'll be getting plenty of attention. Of course she'll be getting visits from us every day, too.

I'll probably find myself at loose ends for a while, given that looking after the aged parents has been my primary occupation for so many years, but I hope that I can at least return to my old routine and, for the first time in ages, get enough sleep that I won't be stumbling around in a daze half the time. I'll also be able to catch up on maintenance of the house. The windows haven't been washed in months and the yard has pretty much gone to seed. I might tidy the yard first so I don't have to see its dismal condition through freshly washed windows. With luck I'll be awake much earlier tomorrow (or at least within a few days) than I've been recently. I'll see sunlight! Well, daylight anyway, with the rain on the way.

Comments

[marseille.livejournal.com]

This is a hard thing, but it is true that people trained to physically handle the patients do a much better and comfortable job of it, for the most part. My mom loved some of the big guys who could just easily shift her around without pain. She also didn't give the ones she liked a lot of attitude. Also, the professionals don't take it personally if the patient acts like they're someone from the past with whom she had issues...
It's very good that it's close by. We hear in NY State that for the past 2 years patients have been shipped to homes in other states without family having any say in it, possibly without warning.
Visit as much as possible, but know that she's safer as is.

[rejectomorph]

I'm sure she is better off, especially this time of year when we're so likely to have power outages. The care home has backup power so there's no chance she'd end up being without heat as she might here. Mom hates being cold.