Fail!

[rejectomorph]

Once again I am thwarted! The fat elf and his airborne ruminants have escaped the traps, and I have been reduced to eating store-bought foods for my holiday meal. The ACME traps were a terrible disappointment. Indeed, I have myself only just escaped the fireplace trap intended for the elf, it having gone off prematurely while I was setting it. Who could have foreseen such an outcome? And I've discovered that all the cookies I'd had in my kitchen are missing, along with my last quart of milk. That elf plays hardball.

Ah, well. There's no point in dwelling on it. I have to start planning for Easter. There will be hasenpfeffer! And lots of egg salad!

Comments

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

>That elf plays hardball.

Oh dear. And you'd think there'd be peace on earth and alla that stuff ongoing! ;)

Egg salad... Mmmmm, gosh that sounds good. Is it spring yet?

[rejectomorph]

Elves are not Christians, and have no desire for Peace on Earth. They are all pagans! Have you ever once heard old Claus mention Jesus? No! You'd think it was his birthday!

Mark my words: some Christmas, once we've been sufficiently softened up, Claus won't be bringing presents! He and his "helpers" will be bringing a bloodbath! We will all be murdered in our beds while dreaming of sugarplums!

We must devour the elves before they devour us!