Reset Forty, Day Five
Apr. 13th, 2022 02:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rejectomorphTuesday morning I finally got back to sleep around ten o'clock, but it was interrupted by a telephone call before noon. I have the impression that a strange dream was underway, but any lingering details were eradicated by the subsequent conversation. The call was from the office of the law firm that is handling the class action suit against P&GE for the fires, and I think I handled the call rather badly, being barely awake and thus even more muddled than usual, and my answers to their questions were probably inadequate and sometimes verged on nonsensical or incomprehensible. I've never thought it likely that I'd get much, if anything, from the fund that was set up for fire victims, and now I think it less likely than ever.
At this point, any payment I got would accomplish little in any case. My share of the insurance money was insufficient to buy even the cheapest property available around here in the year after the fire, and since I would have no support system in place anywhere else, going someplace with cheaper housing would be impossible, but one consequence of the pandemic was a renewed boom in the real estate market which has lifted the already high prices even farther beyond my inadequate funds, and even what I'd consider the most generous (and unlikely) compensation from the trust fund would not cover that still-growing gap.
In short, any window of opportunity I might have had to get a house of my own is likely gone forever. This is the cul de sac I've ended up in, and it's a one way street, and that way is definitely not out. Everything that remains of the insurance money, plus anything I might eventually get from the trust fund, will now have to last me the rest of my life for rent. Given the way I've been feeling for the last few months, it may well be adequate, though the pile of money will inevitably shrink while rent, and all other prices, quickly rise.
So. So it goes. I hope Tuesday turns out to have been the last time I lose sleep over any of it.
As for today, it's going to be cold again, and it is now likely we will get at least some rain three days in a row starting Thursday. It will be chilly, but unlikely to get cold enough to put much more snow on the mountains. I was checking the back yard grape vine Tuesday afternoon and saw quite a few clusters of tiny grape embryos, though most of them are going to be too high for me to reach. They do make a nice incentive to survive for a couple more months, though. I'm going to uproot some of the young pokeweed that would block my access to the grapes if it grows to full size— sorry, butterflies and birds. I could probably eat you instead of grapes, but I'd rather not, so no flowers or berries for you.
It feels like time to sleep again. I think I'll give myself a double ration of chocolate tonight. It was sort of a rough day, and I deserve this compensation, if none other.
At this point, any payment I got would accomplish little in any case. My share of the insurance money was insufficient to buy even the cheapest property available around here in the year after the fire, and since I would have no support system in place anywhere else, going someplace with cheaper housing would be impossible, but one consequence of the pandemic was a renewed boom in the real estate market which has lifted the already high prices even farther beyond my inadequate funds, and even what I'd consider the most generous (and unlikely) compensation from the trust fund would not cover that still-growing gap.
In short, any window of opportunity I might have had to get a house of my own is likely gone forever. This is the cul de sac I've ended up in, and it's a one way street, and that way is definitely not out. Everything that remains of the insurance money, plus anything I might eventually get from the trust fund, will now have to last me the rest of my life for rent. Given the way I've been feeling for the last few months, it may well be adequate, though the pile of money will inevitably shrink while rent, and all other prices, quickly rise.
So. So it goes. I hope Tuesday turns out to have been the last time I lose sleep over any of it.
As for today, it's going to be cold again, and it is now likely we will get at least some rain three days in a row starting Thursday. It will be chilly, but unlikely to get cold enough to put much more snow on the mountains. I was checking the back yard grape vine Tuesday afternoon and saw quite a few clusters of tiny grape embryos, though most of them are going to be too high for me to reach. They do make a nice incentive to survive for a couple more months, though. I'm going to uproot some of the young pokeweed that would block my access to the grapes if it grows to full size— sorry, butterflies and birds. I could probably eat you instead of grapes, but I'd rather not, so no flowers or berries for you.
It feels like time to sleep again. I think I'll give myself a double ration of chocolate tonight. It was sort of a rough day, and I deserve this compensation, if none other.
