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Reset Forty-Nine, Day Twelve
Jun. 4th, 2023 04:11 amWhen I wake for a while in the mornings now and look outside it seems the light is less bright than it once was. There always seems to be a vague overcast. Perhaps there is. That's how it used to be in Los Angeles in May and June. Maybe as climate zones shift it gets more like the regions south of the Tehachapi Mountains here. Or it could be that pollution is growing worse here, on its way to Southern California levels.
Or maybe it's just my eyes going bad, or badder. I know my night blindness is fairly advanced now, and reading grows more difficult almost by the day. I expect them to get worse. But it makes me feel as though something is going on that I'm not being let in on. Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm detaching from the world, or the world is detaching from me. We're both getting older, after all, though it still seems likely that I'll die first. And I must say it would be a damned inconvenience for me the other way around, and I'm pretty sure the world won't give a rat's ass when I vanish from its indifferent face. Yeah, I should definitely go first. It's best for everyone.
Anyway, the mini-heat wave is half over and will be peaking today (with a high of 96 and a distressingly symmetrical nocturnal low of 69) and will be spent by Tuesday, when we get back to a more spring-like high of 80 and low of 61. I can live with that, but it remains to be seen if I can live through July and August. It would be a shame to survive the torrid months and then die before the nice fall weather arrives. Do I always say that? I can't remember anymore, and don't feel like looking back. I think I'm getting tired now. I'll get this out of the way and go to bed.
( Sunday Verse )
Or maybe it's just my eyes going bad, or badder. I know my night blindness is fairly advanced now, and reading grows more difficult almost by the day. I expect them to get worse. But it makes me feel as though something is going on that I'm not being let in on. Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm detaching from the world, or the world is detaching from me. We're both getting older, after all, though it still seems likely that I'll die first. And I must say it would be a damned inconvenience for me the other way around, and I'm pretty sure the world won't give a rat's ass when I vanish from its indifferent face. Yeah, I should definitely go first. It's best for everyone.
Anyway, the mini-heat wave is half over and will be peaking today (with a high of 96 and a distressingly symmetrical nocturnal low of 69) and will be spent by Tuesday, when we get back to a more spring-like high of 80 and low of 61. I can live with that, but it remains to be seen if I can live through July and August. It would be a shame to survive the torrid months and then die before the nice fall weather arrives. Do I always say that? I can't remember anymore, and don't feel like looking back. I think I'm getting tired now. I'll get this out of the way and go to bed.
( Sunday Verse )
