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rejectomorphSaturday started with waking to an afternoon nightmare in the form of a browser failure that lost my passwords and forced me to recover my email accounts, an utterly horrifying experience that takes forever and sends one through endless loops of madness again and again. I was reminded of how much and why I hate technology, and how I resent being so dependent on it. It's as though all the systems of the digital world had been designed by insane monkeys... oh wait, they were.
The experience left me with a headache, and chest pains, and total re-exhaustion. Dinner got delayed again, of course, and I had to go back to bed and sleep some more, which I did until some early hour I can no longer recall. I'm really not sure I've even got all my passwords squared away yet, and keep expecting another Ugg boot to drop. I suspect I had nightmares about it, but fortunately don't remember them. I just have that worn out, depressed feeling I get when I've had them.
Anyway, I just finished dinner about seven o'clock this morning, and I'm waiting for it to settle before I attempt more sleep. It's going to be 88 degrees today, but I managed to get it down to 72 indoors overnight, so not quite as bad as yesterday. I hope that it's not quite as bad as yesterday in other ways too .
Sunday Verse
by John Ashbery
What name do I have for you?
Certainly there is no name for you
In the sense that the stars have names
That somehow fit them. Just walking around,
An object of curiosity to some,
But you are too preoccupied
By the secret smudge in the back of your soul
To say much and wander around,
Smiling to yourself and others.
It gets to be kind of lonely
But at the same time off-putting.
Counterproductive, as you realize once again
That the longest way is the most efficient way,
The one that looped among islands, and
You always seemed to be traveling in a circle.
And now that the end is near
The segments of the trip swing open like an orange.
There is light in there and mystery and food.
Come see it.
Come not for me but it.
But if I am still there, grant that we may see each other.
The experience left me with a headache, and chest pains, and total re-exhaustion. Dinner got delayed again, of course, and I had to go back to bed and sleep some more, which I did until some early hour I can no longer recall. I'm really not sure I've even got all my passwords squared away yet, and keep expecting another Ugg boot to drop. I suspect I had nightmares about it, but fortunately don't remember them. I just have that worn out, depressed feeling I get when I've had them.
Anyway, I just finished dinner about seven o'clock this morning, and I'm waiting for it to settle before I attempt more sleep. It's going to be 88 degrees today, but I managed to get it down to 72 indoors overnight, so not quite as bad as yesterday. I hope that it's not quite as bad as yesterday in other ways too .
Sunday Verse
Just Walking Around
by John Ashbery
What name do I have for you?
Certainly there is no name for you
In the sense that the stars have names
That somehow fit them. Just walking around,
An object of curiosity to some,
But you are too preoccupied
By the secret smudge in the back of your soul
To say much and wander around,
Smiling to yourself and others.
It gets to be kind of lonely
But at the same time off-putting.
Counterproductive, as you realize once again
That the longest way is the most efficient way,
The one that looped among islands, and
You always seemed to be traveling in a circle.
And now that the end is near
The segments of the trip swing open like an orange.
There is light in there and mystery and food.
Come see it.
Come not for me but it.
But if I am still there, grant that we may see each other.
