51/45: Darker Days Drawing Near

[rejectomorph]

I remember eating a sandwich at some point, either Saturday night or Sunday morning. I also remember waking in bed a few times, wondering when it was and remembering the only available clock, the phone, was in the other room charging, and going back to sleep not knowing when. I also remember not the fetching but the having had fetched the phone, and then seeing that it was not as late as I'd expected, or later than I'd expected. It's the ongoing fight with time.

The windows never got opened overnight. They got opened for a while Saturday afternoon, when the sunlight fell upon the bed and I napped for a while in the warmth. Today will be cooler, and only get up to 73. I might still open the windows then, and nap in the sunlight, if I remember, and it doesn't cloud up. There could be showers this afternoon. There might still be some sunny napping afternoons coming up in early November. But for October, it's pretty much over after today. The month running down, just like its year.

The dog in the next apartment is barking unhappily. I probably won't hear him from the bedroom. That's where I'm going.



Sunday Verse

Dirge Without Music

by Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,—
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.