52/57: Doubtless Foolish
Mar. 13th, 2025 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rejectomorphNo idea what to say and thus probably shouldn't say anything, but being decadent feel as though I ought to say something, if only to briefly fill the empty space in my head. Wednesday I slept twice, with about ten afternoon and evening hours of being awake between, and I don't remember if I had an actual meal or not. It might have been just donuts and such, but who knows? It was rainy and I had a brief visit from a nephew who came to pick up stuff I needed to mail, but now everybody will be out of town through most of Sunday so there will be no fetching of groceries or anything, maybe not even until a week from tomorrow. I might run out of a couple of things but won't starve (or even lose any weight, I'll warrant, more's the pity.)
But the sun has been out pretty relentlessly this afternoon despite the forecast of partly cloudy with occasional showers. I feel on the verge of brainlessness and wonder if I ought to go lie down in case a nap comes on. It's best to be horizontal or at least reclining when a nap starts, otherwise one could fall and dash one's brains out, assuming one has brains. I assume nothing anymore but that nothing will go well ever again, which may be the safest assumption to make, and there's the fact that lying down would prevent me from saying in writing whatever things I might say when I have nothing to say, thus reducing the odds that I'll expose myself as utterly foolish. That seems like a good deal. I doubt I'll get any better today. Or maybe it's already too late for that? Could be, and if so all the more reason to nap, to avoid thinking about my shame.
But the sun has been out pretty relentlessly this afternoon despite the forecast of partly cloudy with occasional showers. I feel on the verge of brainlessness and wonder if I ought to go lie down in case a nap comes on. It's best to be horizontal or at least reclining when a nap starts, otherwise one could fall and dash one's brains out, assuming one has brains. I assume nothing anymore but that nothing will go well ever again, which may be the safest assumption to make, and there's the fact that lying down would prevent me from saying in writing whatever things I might say when I have nothing to say, thus reducing the odds that I'll expose myself as utterly foolish. That seems like a good deal. I doubt I'll get any better today. Or maybe it's already too late for that? Could be, and if so all the more reason to nap, to avoid thinking about my shame.
