52/205: Expectations
Sep. 7th, 2025 10:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rejectomorphSomehow I found myself not only napping Saturday afternoon away, but then following a brief foray to the mailbox, going back to bed after each subsequent waking until well after midnight. When I finally dragged myself out of bed I had slept perhaps ten hours, and remained logy for some time thereafter. In fact I have yet to cook and eat the dinner I'd planned to have Saturday evening. Lacking sufficient energy to cook, I ended up microwaving a ramen bowl just a while ago. None of this is a surprise. I've been doing this crap for years now, and it's just getting crappier. I expect it will continue to do just that.
I had been hoping that cooler weather would make me a bit more energetic, but I grow doubtful. It was fairly cool overnight, but I remain lethargic. Perhaps the next few days will help. Tuesday is to have a high of 78, and Wednesday night a low of 59. Those are well below the typical numbers for this locality in early September, and Wednesday's forecast is even showing a 24% chance of rain. I'm not really expecting that, but it would be nice. Especially since by the third week of the month we'll be back to normal late summer heat. That I can easily expect.
Sunday Verse
by Anne Sexton
Perhaps the earth is floating,
I do not know.
Perhaps the stars are little paper cutups
made by some giant scissors,
I do not know.
Perhaps the moon is a frozen tear,
I do not know.
Perhaps God is only a deep voice,
heard by the deaf,
I do not know.
Perhaps I am no one.
True, I have a body
and I cannot escape from it.
I would like to fly out of my head,
but that is out of the question.
It is written on the tablet of destiny
that I am stuck here in this human form.
That being the case
I would like to call attention to my problem.
There is an animal inside me,
clutching fast to my heart,
a huge crab.
The doctors of Boston
have thrown up their hands.
They have tried scalpels,
needles, poison gasses and the like.
The crab remains.
It is a great weight.
I try to forget it, go about my business,
cook the broccoli, open and shut books,
brush my teeth and tie my shoes.
I have tried prayer
but as I pray the crab grips harder
and the pain enlarges.
I had a dream once,
perhaps it was a dream,
that the crab was my ignorance of God.
But who am I to believe in dreams?
I had been hoping that cooler weather would make me a bit more energetic, but I grow doubtful. It was fairly cool overnight, but I remain lethargic. Perhaps the next few days will help. Tuesday is to have a high of 78, and Wednesday night a low of 59. Those are well below the typical numbers for this locality in early September, and Wednesday's forecast is even showing a 24% chance of rain. I'm not really expecting that, but it would be nice. Especially since by the third week of the month we'll be back to normal late summer heat. That I can easily expect.
Sunday Verse
The Poet of Ignorance
by Anne Sexton
Perhaps the earth is floating,
I do not know.
Perhaps the stars are little paper cutups
made by some giant scissors,
I do not know.
Perhaps the moon is a frozen tear,
I do not know.
Perhaps God is only a deep voice,
heard by the deaf,
I do not know.
Perhaps I am no one.
True, I have a body
and I cannot escape from it.
I would like to fly out of my head,
but that is out of the question.
It is written on the tablet of destiny
that I am stuck here in this human form.
That being the case
I would like to call attention to my problem.
There is an animal inside me,
clutching fast to my heart,
a huge crab.
The doctors of Boston
have thrown up their hands.
They have tried scalpels,
needles, poison gasses and the like.
The crab remains.
It is a great weight.
I try to forget it, go about my business,
cook the broccoli, open and shut books,
brush my teeth and tie my shoes.
I have tried prayer
but as I pray the crab grips harder
and the pain enlarges.
I had a dream once,
perhaps it was a dream,
that the crab was my ignorance of God.
But who am I to believe in dreams?
