Remembered

[rejectomorph]

The local supermarket in my old neighborhood sold a large assortment of candles. I bought a number of votive candles, and some of those plain glass containers for them. (They also sold containers with various Catholic images on them.) I also bought a couple of those large candles in colored jars about eight inches high -- the kind Diane diPrima called "nonessential bohemian candles." One jar was red and the other blue.That night, I had them all lit and arranged around my room, and I made a concoction with cranberry juice, and we sat around in the flickering light until the late hours discussing movies and Whitman and Kerouac, and I poured a bit of peppermint extract into a mayonnaise jar lid and set it on fire to see what would happen. It filled the room with a peppermint scent, but the smell of candle wax remained stronger.

What this thought has reminded me of is that it has been years since I used candles for anything other than emergency light during power outages. I wonder what made me give up the decorative candles? I don't recall making any decision to do so. I simply quit using them. Of course, I have no idea why I began using them in the first place, other than to create that atmosphere of nonessential bohemianism. They were an affectation of the time, I suppose, and yet they always seemed to be conducive to conversation. They were not conducive to memory, though, as I've forgotten all the details of what was said. Again, I am left with visual and olfactory images, but the sound is no more than a tone, warm and soothing, but without content. Words are the things which have always escaped me, Now, I find myself using words to write down what was never speech, and unable to record what was spoken. I waited too long, and end up with this irony.

That was what happened on November 17th then.

This year, there was a bit of sunlight and some white clouds. Nobody spoke.

Comments

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

I enjoy candlelight or firelight, but the reason I rarely use either one is the smell. Maybe I buy too-cheap candles, but the house always smells of candlewax and I don't like it. The fireplace on the other hand, is nearly worthless in this house. Unless there is no wind at all, the smoke gets blown back down into the house, due to the siting. Predominant winds are eastern and we are just over the top of a west-facing slope. Seems there'll be no romance here.