Arboreal Violence

[rejectomorph]

It's the pines that are pollinating now. However much the mulberry tree's sexual activities make me sneeze, it is the pines getting it on that brings my worst reactions. Oh, the vegetable porn is exhausting! I can barely drag myself around today. Everything is covered with a fine yellow dust- tree spooge!- and it accumulates so quickly that a car parked for half an hour will noticeably change color. I'm trapped in an abusive relationship with a forest, and it gets worse every year. Each spring the ponderosas beat the crap out of me, but I find them irresistible, and I always forgive them. Things would be much better if I could go stay in San Francisco for a couple of weeks each May. That isn't going to happen, though. Oh, how I miss the sweet urban smog this time of year!