Desultory thoughts.

[rejectomorph]

Another hot, boring day in Paradise. After spending way too long looking at pictures on Webshots last night, I finally got to sleep just before dawn. I didn't wake up until 1:00pm. Since the bathroom is on the east side of the house, it was hot. Impossible to dry off after showering in weather like this. At least the septic tank hasn't backed up yet. I have no idea what to have for dinner. Probably just get a pizza. Man, what a dull life I lead in this place. I really need to meet somebody.
Look at that! I just wrote about sleep, poop, food, and (lack of) relationships. Hey, navarchus! You were right!

Comments

[swerve.livejournal.com]

All those subjects you mentioned, plus a lot of bad poetry. That's LiveJournal in a nutshell.

I so rarely add anyone to my friends list anymore.

[rejectomorph]

I guess that people with interesting lives are the people least likely to have the time to post anything- unless they have an internet connection at work, like scottobear.

Bad pomes

[eideteker.livejournal.com]

I post bad poetry mostly because no one has the courage to tell me my poetry is bad or the insight to tell me why it is.

Re: Bad pomes

[rejectomorph]

Dude! Fishing for complements? ;)
Okay, I'll bite.
I wouldn't say your poetry is bad.
I would say that it is uneven.
Sometimes some very strong images, and a restless passion.
Other times, as full of abstactions as this commentary I am writing here.
Abstractions are for critics and professors.
Poetry demands that each abstraction be anchored to the solid, sensual earth.
Poetry is about abstractions. (Ideas, feelings, etc.)
It is made with words.
Words that are formed into concrete images.
Your best writing is your most concrete writing.
The old advice:
Don't tell the reader.
Show the reader.
Easier (alas) said than done.
But as essential as bread and breath.

Re: Bad pomes

[eideteker.livejournal.com]

I'm blown away by actual feedback... man.

I'd love to have you read some of my earlier stuff; of late it's been mostly a purge. I can dig up some links if you'd like... there's also a decent amount on my old website under "Saccades"

My poems used to feel very methodical and plodding because they were trapped in rhyme schemes.

Re: Bad pomes

[rejectomorph]

Send links, by all means. I'm always better at reading poetry than I am at writing it. In fact, I think that you probably have more raw talent for poetry than I do. I've had to study it carefully, just to be able to fake the ability to write it. In my college creative writing classes, the poems were the only assignments on which I didn't get top grades.
::weeps plaintively:: But, what the hell. My essays kicked ass!

Re: Bad pomes

[eideteker.livejournal.com]

I can imagine your essays would!

I'm trying to find some more "even" poetry. Let's see what I've got.

Hmm... not entirely even (by a longshot), I'm most fond of "Not Fade Away" here (even thought it's a song): http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?itemid=868447

If you want UNEVEN try a stream of consciousness: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=818955&nc=1

I really liked this poem for the sheer honesty I felt when I wrote it: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=1156113&nc=1

Untouch is not too bad, here. http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=1133779&nc=1

This day was just RANDOM: http://www.livejournal.com/users/darksmile/day/2001/01/11

And then the EARLY works:

The second poem I ever put on the web: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/nat3/wordpoem.html

The ultimate in bad romantic poetry: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/nat3/stilts.html

The ultimate in bad COLLEGE "sexual" poetry; a style parody: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/nat3/onion.html

Rhythmic and droning, my first dirge: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/nat3/lake.html

The first poem here made me proud to have written it: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/nat3/spilt.html#I

I've always just liked the rhythm here. I point to this poem when I say my poetry is meant to be heard, not read: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/nat3/Chaste.html (so here go read it, ha ha ha)

Read at your leisure, and I hope you enjoy, more importantly. :)

Re: Bad pomes

[rejectomorph]

I managed to read your older poems Friday night while LJ was down. I was going to read those on this site Saturday night, but a power outage screwed up my schedule- I'll probably get to them tonight. In the meantime, one comment; Try reading The Lake without the first line. This goes back to what I was saying about showing the reader instead of telling the reader. Since the poem does show what you're thinking, you don't need the first line, which merely tells. The poem is actually pretty strong, with clear, concise images and simple declarations of fact. The first line just becomes sort of an anticipatory redundancy.

[navarchus.livejournal.com]

I got lucky.

[rejectomorph]

Congratulations!
Last time I got lucky was...let's see...well, way too long ago.
I miss L.A. :'(

Re:

[navarchus.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should adjust the scope on your weapon.

[rejectomorph]

I don't think it would help for me to merely improve my aim. Game is too rare around here.
And what there is available is mostly so young that it is still protected by law. I wouldn't want to put my license at risk.

Re:

[navarchus.livejournal.com]

Most people prefer their game "rare."

Overcooking makes it taste 'gamey.'

[rejectomorph]

True, but what I'd really like is a good place for take-out. I get tired of doing my own cooking.