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52/18: Change Due
Jan. 29th, 2025 07:56 amTuesday evening I had a headache, and didn't feel like cooking so I just made a sandwich and then went to bed about nine o'clock. The headache has diminished to low grade overnight, but isn't entirely gone, and a few other disturbing pains have joined it. My neck feels out of place, which may be the source of the headache, but my chest also feels congested and I'm just out of sorts in general. It's just the annoying decline of age, I suppose.
I'd have mixed feelings about dropping dead right now. On the one hand I'd be out of my misery, and (a big bonus) wouldn't ever have to shop again, but on the other hand the weather forecast has five straight days with rain starting Friday, and being newly corpsed I'd miss out on that. The Terribly Dry January has left me feeling so bereft and unfulfilled, and a nice week of rain would do a lot to assuage those feelings. But then being dead I'd have no feelings, and wouldn't actually miss the rain, I'd just miss out on it but would be utterly oblivious to the fact. It's really only the thought of missing the rain that I feel right now that bothers me. So I suppose I should simply not think about it. So, I feel like crap today but yay, it's going to rain and if I'm still here I'll enjoy the hell out of it.
Gee, positive thinking. I feel like I'm in the self-help section of a bookstore. Funny how my imagination still has bookstores, even if they have mostly vanished from the actual world. That's probably why I so much prefer my imagination to reality, and spend so much of my time there. I wish I could eat stuff I imagined, because I'm starting to be a bit hungry but still don't feel like actually cooking. I don't even want to microwave a ramen bowl, but I suppose I'll have to. I lack the energy for anything else. I've been awake since about three in the morning, and out of bed since about half past four, and I'm tired already and want to go back to sleep. Or maybe I'll make a couple of pieces of toast first, though the thought of spreading all that butter is exhausting. Dry toast? Yech.
I'd have mixed feelings about dropping dead right now. On the one hand I'd be out of my misery, and (a big bonus) wouldn't ever have to shop again, but on the other hand the weather forecast has five straight days with rain starting Friday, and being newly corpsed I'd miss out on that. The Terribly Dry January has left me feeling so bereft and unfulfilled, and a nice week of rain would do a lot to assuage those feelings. But then being dead I'd have no feelings, and wouldn't actually miss the rain, I'd just miss out on it but would be utterly oblivious to the fact. It's really only the thought of missing the rain that I feel right now that bothers me. So I suppose I should simply not think about it. So, I feel like crap today but yay, it's going to rain and if I'm still here I'll enjoy the hell out of it.
Gee, positive thinking. I feel like I'm in the self-help section of a bookstore. Funny how my imagination still has bookstores, even if they have mostly vanished from the actual world. That's probably why I so much prefer my imagination to reality, and spend so much of my time there. I wish I could eat stuff I imagined, because I'm starting to be a bit hungry but still don't feel like actually cooking. I don't even want to microwave a ramen bowl, but I suppose I'll have to. I lack the energy for anything else. I've been awake since about three in the morning, and out of bed since about half past four, and I'm tired already and want to go back to sleep. Or maybe I'll make a couple of pieces of toast first, though the thought of spreading all that butter is exhausting. Dry toast? Yech.
